Patriots Wishes and Caviar Dreams

It’s that time of year again; the stockings are hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that my sports wishes, soon will be here.

This year I've had to think long and hard about what I want, because last year my wish came true. As 2012 came to a close, my wish was that the Red Sox would climb out of the AL East cellar. At the time, I just hoped for them to battle for playoff contention. My wish came true times 1,000, with Boston taking the 2013 World Series title. From worst to first, it was a season of the ages.

 This year, my wishes are of the football variety. My Patriots are playing pretty well, and despite some major season-ending injuries, they are winning. But despite the record, something is missing. Primarily, there’s the absence of two 250-lb+ game-changing tight ends. One of them I can hope to see back next season. The other? Well I think right now he’s just hoping he’ll see the outside world sometime before he dies.

For my 265-lb freak, I wish a healthy 2014; one free of surgeries and full of catches, touchdowns and fiestas. Because we all know Rob Gronkowski es un fiesta. I hope his back, knee, forearm and whatever else ails him are good to go next year, and we are graced with a season full of Gronk.

My second request is for tall guys who catch good, and Gronk would say. For Tom Brady’s sake, I wish for a decent received corps. I don’t mean a mish-mash of average talent who are elevated by the play of a great play-calling qb; I mean 2007-esque talent, when The Freak was out there breaking all-time records with Tom Terrific. He deserves to end his career with some great receivers, instead of the mish-mash of talent he’s dealt with since Moss left. I mean a true receiver, not some little slot guy like Welker. Though great at what he did, I want to see someone who can make spectacular grabs like Calvin Johnson or Brandon Marshall.

 Speaking of ending his career, I wish for a Fountain of Youth. At 36, I know that the end is drawing near for the Patriots with Tom Brady at the helm. I can’t imagine he has more than a couple seasons left in his arm, and I’m already freaking out. But my biggest fear? That Bill Belichick will decide to leave at the same time as his muse. Then I really don’t know what I’ll do. If Tom leaves but New England still has Bill, I feel like we can make it; without him, the dreaded “rebuilding” will begin. We've been a bit spoiled in the last 12 years, and I don’t think I can take a season of renovation. Every year since 2001, my football team has been a playoff and Super Bowl contender. I can’t remember a time when I “couldn't watch” the Patriots, or that each game didn't mean something. So I need Tom to drink some H2O from Ponce de Leon’s legendary spring and continue to be an active Patriot for life. Since I know this isn't logical, I hope that Belichick doesn't retire at the same time as the best quarterback ever (I’m not biased at all).

 A guy who can run 100 yards a game… without dropping the ball. I am so tired of the Patriots’ non-existent running game. They have spurts here and there over the years, but they haven’t had a consistent runner since Corey Dillon. I trust Belichick, but his incapability to draft a decent running back is killing me. I know he thinks other positions are more important, which is obvious since the Pats never draft a game-changing WR or RB, but for once I’d love to have a guy on the field who I knew could just run up the gut and score some TDs. As Tom gets up there in years, having a reliable runner to take some of the pressure off would be a God send.

A new hip for Aqib Talib. One of my favorite Patriots, I fear Talib is going to play the rest of his career on one leg. A legitimate option for Defensive Player of the Year before he got hurt Oct. 13, Talib was completely shutting it down in the backfield – in consecutive weeks, he held Julio Jones, A.J. Green and Jimmy Graham to a COMBINED six catches and 62 yards. Through the first six games of the season, with a healthy Talib, the Patriots defense allowed just 16 points per game. Having a guy who can shut down the opposing team’s best player can’t be understated. Then Talib hurt his hip flexor, missed three games, and hasn’t been the same since he returned. That said, Talib on one leg is still better than ¾ of the other corners in the league. But imagine if he was 100%? That is my wish.

So, Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, in your golden fleece diapers, with your curled-up, fat, balled-up little fists pawing at the air … don’t even know a word yet, just a little infant and so cuddly, but still omnipotent… please hear my prayers for Tom, Bill, Gronk, Aqib and the rest.

And finally, my wish for all of you is that you have a very Merry Christmas, a belated Happy Chanukah, and a very happy and healthy new year. Here’s hoping for some great Bowl games, some kick-ass NFL playoff matchups, and, hopefully, Tom hoisting the Vince Lombardi Trophy at the end. Amen.

Super Bowl XLVI: Breaking down Patriots-Giants

 In what borders on a holiday in the U.S., just about everyone will be with friends and family on Sunday, watching the Super Bowl and consuming copious amounts of food and beverages.

About half of those around the TV are there to watch the game and the other half are there for the halftime show and the commercials, which undoubtedly will feature cute animals, attractive women, funny old people and foolish, emasculated men. For those of us who are Patriots or Giants fans, the commercials will be a chance to regain our composure and teeter back from the edge of our seats; Madonna at halftime will be an opportunity to take a deep breath and maybe bring our blood pressure back to normal after a suspenseful first half. But most importantly, it’s our chance to analyze the first half and try to convince ourselves why our team is going to come back or hold on in the second half.

Why the Pats will win:

1. Tom Brady. Already considered one of the best of all time, Brady is determined to win his 17th playoff game, which would be an NFL record, and his fourth Super Bowl, which would be tied for the most all time. If there’s one thing Tom Brady is, it’s proud – and he wants to redeem himself after his sub-par AFC Championship game, where he didn’t throw a touchdown pass for the first time in 36 games.

2. Revenge. Bill Belichick will do anything and everything not to lose to the Giants again. He, Brady and the rest of the Patriots want to redeem themselves not only for their Week 9 loss to the Giants and, more importantly, their loss in Super Bowl XLII. If there’s one thing I would always bet on, it’s Belichick and Brady when they have a chip on their shoulder.

3. Patriots Tight Ends. Never before have we seen a team with two dominant tight ends. Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez combined for 2,237 receiving yards and 24 touchdowns this season. Gronkowski set an NGL record with 17 touchdowns in the regular season, and added three more in the playoffs. In their last meeting, they torched the Giants for 12 receptions, 136 yards and a touchdown each. If the Giants want to have a chance at this game, safeties Kenny Phillips and Antrel Rolle need to step-up big-time for the G-men. That being said – the entire game changes if Gronkowski’s ankle injury limits him on the field Sunday.

Why the Giants will win:

1. The Patriots defense. The Pats defense, decimated by injuries and draft picks who haven’t lived up to their supposed potential, allowed 4,703 passing yards in the regular season, ranking 31st in the league – lower than any team that has ever won the Super Bowl. Of the 45 Super Bowl champions, 11 ranked first in yards allowed, five ranked second and six ranked third. Thirty-eight defenses were ranked in the top 10. Of teams that lost the Super Bowl, the worst-ranked defenses were the Buffalo Bills teams of 1991 and 1993 that ranked 27th (in a 28-team league); no other runner-up even ranked as low as 20th; the average defensive ranking of the past six Super Bowl teams was 18th … and  the Patriots were significantly below that this season. Eli and his trio of receivers have ability to pick apart this mish-mash defense.

2. Giants receivers. It infuriates New England fans that a product of the University of Massachusetts, Victor Cruz, is an out-of-nowhere receiving star for a New York (yes, we know he is from New Jersey). For the 2011 season, he set a franchise record with 1,536 receiving yards and led the team with 82 receptions and nine receiving touchdowns. In the NFC championship against the 49ers, a great defense, he had 10 catches for 142 yards… which doesn’t bode well for the Pats defense. Cruz is young, hungry, and a big-play receiver. Put him alongside Hakeem Nicks (1,192 receiving yards) and Mario Manningham and you have the best trio of receivers in the game – a near impossible match up for the Pats.

After all of the analysis, it comes down to who wants it more – the Patriots, who’s thirst for redemption will overcome their sub-par defense; or Eli Manning and the Giants, who want to erase the memories of a 6-6 mid-season record and come out of the shadow of a certain big brother. Belichick and Brady won’t lose this game, so if they Giants want to take it from the Pats again, they’re going to have to play the game of their lives.

As I said before, I don’t bet against Belichick and Brady with a chip on their shoulder – Patriots 27-24.

Heading to a Super rematch

As I watched Billy Cundiff’s seemingly “sure thing,” 32-yard field goal attempt sail wide left, I felt the earth shift – all Patriots fans jumped up to rejoice, while Ravens fans fell to the ground in despair.

Throughout the game my blood pressure was on a rollercoaster ride: sure the Pats were going to pull it off; hopefully of a New England victory, but not wanting to feel too confident only to be brutally disappointed; and fearing that the evil Ravens were going to pound my Super Bowl dreams into oblivion.

In the end, it was Vince Wilfork on defense and Cundiff’s missed kick that sent the Pats to Indianapolis (although, if Cundiff had made the field goal, who knows what would have happened in overtime – Tom Brady the assassin very well could have returned.)

Brady, in his own words, “sucked pretty bad,” in the game; though, to be fair, his numbers were far from awful - 239 yards, with two interceptions however, for the first time in 36 games, no TD passes… but he did run in the game-winner. But for Brady, that’s a bad game. Usually he doesn't need much assistance when it comes to big games, but Sunday the Patriots' highly-criticized defense came through and was the deciding factor in the game (Cundiff’s foot aside).

After the game finished, I had only a few minutes to regain my composure and let my blood pressure settle before I was thrown into another game. I wasn’t ready for another championship game; I wanted to savor the Patriots good luck for a few hours. But Roger Goodell wouldn’t have it and I was thrust into the 49ers-Giants rumble.

During this game I was torn – who do I cheer for? I hate the Giants and I like the 49ers, but I also want to Pats to have a chance to avenge their last Super Bowl loss. That being said, I’m just a tad superstitious – because of that, I try to be realistic and not overly confident because my confidence may madden the football gods and cause the Patriots to lose, and I would rather lose to San Francisco than the Giants. So as you can see, I was torn. Seeing as how cheering for a New York team just about makes me physically ill, I couldn’t bring myself to cheer for the Giants (watching them celebrate brings the taste of bile to my mouth).

In the end, it was the football gods (and poor Kyle Williams) who decided the outcome, and now my Patriots have the opportunity to avenge their Super Bowl XLII loss.

With this matchup, I am forced to remember back to that game in 2008. Try as I might to forget it ever happened, over and over I am forced to watch David Tyree and the helmet catch thrown in my face by ESPN, Fox and the like.

I went into that game as confident as a fan can be – after all, my team was 18-0 and the Giants finished the regular season 10-6 (just like this season… I’m feeling sick). As the game wore on I remember asking myself: “Why are the Patriots playing like they’re trying not to lose? My Patriots always play to win! Who is this team? Where are my Patriots?!”

Then the unthinkable happened, and after “the touchdown” I got up, and locked myself in my room. A tear or two may have been shed and I refused to talk about the game or turn on ESPN for a week.

Now the Patriots have a chance to avenge that fateful night… they better not blow it, or I may actually have a heart attack.

Dealing with a loss

When your team loses a game, there are many different reactions. These reactions often depend on when the game occurred, i.e. early or late in the season; the importance of the game (regular season or playoffs); and the success of your team – are they a team that loses more often than they win, or a team that rarely loses?

I dealt with a loss on Sunday, when the Patriots embarrassingly gave up a 21-0 lead to the, admittedly, up-and-coming Bills. I went through the typical stages as the lead was squandered:

1. Denial: There is no way the unshakeable Tom Brady threw four interceptions in one game! They’ll come back!

2. Anger: How could the mighty Patriots give up 369 passing yards to the Bills? Where the heck was the defense?! 

3. Bargaining: OK Tom, you threw four interceptions – you can make up for it with a few out-of-this-world big plays! 

4. Depression: The Bills?! They are losing to the BILLS, a team they’ve beaten 15 times in a row, and 20 of the last 21 games. This is it; the season is all downhill from here… 

5. Acceptance: It’s just one game. They’re a god – a very good – team. Maybe this loss will be a good thing, a wake up call: the defense needs to step up and stop allowing more first downs than any other team in the league, and the receivers and tight ends need to be in the right position to make plays. Oh, and BenJarvus Green-Ellis? Time to start running for gains, OK? Thanks.

For fans of teams like the Patriots, the Jets or the Texans, we are still optimistic. We can swallow this week’s loss and hope it’s one of the few this season; we are confident enough that we believe this is just an early-season blip on the radar, and we still expect a successful season. 

Then there are fans of teams like the Minnesota Vikings or the Seattle Seahawks, who are starting to see the writing on the wall: that this is going to be a long season full of losses and disappointment. 

What do you do if you fall into this category? You have a few options: If you have a rival, you put your energy into cheering against them – this is made worse when your rival, such as the Green Bay Packers for Vikings fans, is very good. If that isn’t working for you, throw your time and energy into your fantasy team. Don’t have a fantasy team? Well, then hopefully you have another sport you can look forward to. I hope for your sake it’s not an NBA team, because the 2011-2012 season isn’t looking too good. 

No rival to cheer against, no fantasy team and no college football, baseball or NHL team to cheer for? Well either hope for a miraculous turn-around, or accept that this is going to a season with many downs and few ups. Maybe you can take the opportunity to spend Sundays with your family – remember when you used to do that?

Jaded

I have become jaded.

As I watched Kevin Garnett celebrate his first NBA title, and the Celtics first since 1986, I couldn't help being almost jealous of KG's complete elation. I've been spoiled by the past six years of Boston sports domination.

It began back in 2001-2002 with the Patriots first Super Bowl win. Now THAT was excitement. It was the first time I'd ever really seen one of my teams win a championship (I was only 3 when the Celtics won their last in 1986), so it was elation like I'd never felt.

In February 2004, when the Pats won their second Super Bowl, it defintely lost a bit of its luster. By 2005, it was practically old hat.

Then 2004 happened, and the Red Sox won their first World Series since 1918. I have never been so happy at a sporting event, not even the first Patriots title. I was watching at the Dugout in Boston, crying, cheering and hugging strangers. Hearing Joe Buck say "Red Sox fans have longed to hear it: the Boston Red Sox are world champions!" still gives me goosebumps. And no matter what I think of Joe Buck from now on, or what I thought of him before 2004, I will always love the way he called the last play of that game.

But then our teams kept winning. The Pats won again in 2004, the Sox was again in 2006, and it just wasn't the same. I was happy, sure, but not the euphoria of the first Patriots Super Bowl, or the 2004 Red Sox.

When the Celtics won their 17th NBA title Tuesday, it was that same almost hollow-happiness. I can't believe that I, a Boston fan, is actually used to winning. Boston and winning had been almost contradictory for my entire life. Now, all of a sudden, people are sick of Boston winning all the time? How did this happen?!

I have to think it's cyclical, and New England sports domination surely can't last forever. In 10 or 20 years I'll be looking back on this decade as "the golden age," and not believing that I took it for granted.

So I need to try to be like KG and be on top of the woooooorld!!!! while it lasts. I'm starting to feel like... shudder... a Yankees fan in the 90s, who thought they would win every year, and therefore winning it all isn't exciting, it's just expected, which takes a lot of the fun out of it.

My teams can still lose, trust me I know that... I'm still not over the Patriots loss to the Giants... actually, that never happened so I don't know what I'm talking about. Never mind.

But I long for the 2004 World Series, when my team winning brought me to tears, and ended my lifetime of suffering. I wish the Celtics win had tugged at my heartstrings in the same way as Vinitieri's game-winning field goal in 2002... but, alas, I've become jaded.

New England is now the city of Champions... I never thought I'd say that, but I've certainly gotten used to it.

Is there such thing as a happy-medium?

I've long been told there is a happy-medium for men, between a woman who knows too much about sports, which apparently can be intimidating (whatever), and a women who knows absolutely nothing about sports (annoying).

So if I know all of the rules of football then I'm intimidating or somehow less feminine? Here's what I have to say to that - get over it. Just because I'm a woman and can't actually play football doesn't mean I can't like and know a lot about it. I'm sure very few of the men who watch their team actually played in the NFL, and they can still appreciate the talent, so what's the difference?

I get the latter -- trying to watch a game with someone who knows nothing about football can be frustrating. Like today - I was talking to my best friend, who is of course from Boston and considers herself a Patriots fan, and I mentioned Wes Welker, to which she replied "who is that?"

I'm not kidding, I nearly had a heart attack. I can't even fathom how someone living in Boston can not know who Wes Welker is, especially someone who considers herself a Patriots fan.

Granted, I know she's not a huge sports fan or super knowledgeable about football, but how can you have watched any Patriots games this season, and have to ask who Wes Welker is? It literally blows my mind.

I know that most women aren't as into football as I am, but I still can't understand how you can watch a game and not remember who the leading receiver on the team is (and yes, I know Randy Moss had more touchdown receptions, but Welker led the team, and the NFL in total receptions).

Then I tried to think of it from her side - she probably thinks I'm a freak and can't fathom how I know, or why I care, that Wes Welker's 112 receptions this season is an NFL record for a receiver in his first year with a team.

I've long ago realized that I can't sit around with my girlfriends and talk about football, because after about three minutes their eyes glass over and I realize I've lost them - so the only people I can really discuss football with are men (if you are a woman who likes football too, don't be offended, we just haven't met).

Some guys think it's cool that I know as much as they do about football, but I'm sure there are many who think I should shut up and get back in the kitchen. I've read from a lot of sports writers, including my favorite columnist Bill Simmons, that a woman who knows to much about sports is suddenly less attractive because women are supposed to be feminine or something stupid like that.

Clearly I'm not the woman to sit on the couch during a football game whose only comments coming are how hot Tom Brady is -- not that I don't think it. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate Tom Brady for his chisled features, but I also appreciate his rocket arm, and I'm proud of that fact - if you can't handle that, you can't handle a real woman.

edit: I was just told that I don't have the male perspective quite right - that it's more that the guy is emasculated if the girl knows more about sports, not that the girl isn't feminine enough. To that I also say -- get over it. Just cause you're a guy doesn't mean you have to know a lot about sports, and just cause you're a woman doesn't mean you shouldn't.